


This Charming Meruem

by acerbictigress



Category: Hunter X Hunter, The Smiths
Genre: I need to stop writing after taking sleep meds, If you guys take this serious that's your own fault
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-18 21:30:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22833490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acerbictigress/pseuds/acerbictigress
Summary: AU where Komugi is an alt chick who shows Meruem the Smiths
Kudos: 7





	1. I Don't Owe You Anything

**Author's Note:**

  * For [docboredom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/docboredom/gifts).



Meruem was on one of his hundreds of missions in which he would slaughter a village looking for the perfect meat to consume. It had become exhausting. And while the royal guards were supposedly there to do this job for him, they just never seemed to do it quite right. He liked to see what humanity had for him. He was supposed to rule over them someday, afterall. Seeing them as chunks of meat did little to help him understand how these frail creatures had stuck around for so many thousands of years. Walking through the destroyed villages gave him the opportunity to find the reason they had not perished years prior.  
His knowledge of humanity was limited and all the books in the world could not provide him with that required in order to comprehend the feeling he now felt. Hell, up to this point, he did not even know if he was capable of feeling. But the music in the village gave him a guiding light, one which he knew would never go out.  
He walked slowly through the massacred town; decapitated bodies littered the landscape, bodies that he knew held little more than sustenance to a king like him. But somehow, a voice kept him moving.  
He opened the door to a one-roomed shack where a girl with white hair and thick eyebrows was seeming to find solace away from the oncoming attack. And yet, she did not seem phased. Was it that she had not seen them coming? Or was it that solitude was her default state of being? And what was this music?  
Meruem came closer, and contemplated how many minutes of satiety her frail body would provide him. It was so little that it may not even be worth killing her over. And maybe in this case, knowledge was worth more than the meat on her bones.  
“Hello human,” Meruem said, not quite sure how to address someone so far beneath him. He felt it may be necessary to get her attention though.  
“Oh--is someone there?” the human asked.  
“Yes, it is I, your leader. You are the last one in this village.”  
“Oh, so you are here to save me?” said the girl.  
“I am here because-” Meruem paused. He was not sure what his motives were for talking to her. Maybe she could give him a lead to another village with more delicate specimens.  
“Oh! You are!” the girl cried in delight. “I’m so sorry sir, let me turn this down.”   
She pointed a remote at a stereo system upside down, pressing the wrong button and accidentally turning the volume up higher.  
“Ah!” she yelled. “I am so sorry mister--I am sorry, what is your name?”  
Meruem did not quite know how to answer this and instead strode towards the stereo, ready to break it. But something alerted and then calmed his senses.  
“What is this?” he asked, pointing at the stereo.  
The girl could not see what direction he was pointing in but sensed his location in the room.  
“Oh! That is music!”  
Meruem clenched and unclenched his jaw. Humans sure could be simple-minded sometimes.  
“Yes, I know. Pouf plays music sometimes--it’s very annoying. I meant who are these creatures? What is that man yelling about?”  
“Ohh!” the girl responded, “that’s The Smiths! They’re a band.”  
So there could be more than one musician playing together.  
“So these Smiths, do they have an army? Are they something I should worry about?”   
The girl thought for a second. “No, not an army. They have some pretty angry fans. But they are not organized in any way.”  
“So then what is their purpose?”  
“To make music I guess! This song is off the album--”  
“Album?”  
“Yes, a group of many songs--This one is off the album called Meat is Murder.”  
Meruem did not like the way this band sounded. They seemed to not only be building a loose army but also albums, whatever that meant. And from the sound of it, they had the exact opposite goals of him.  
“Get this human back to the castle, we need to keep it around for intel. And bring its Smiths with it,” Meruem commanded.  
“Yes, your majesty,” Pitou responded, bowing to Meruem. She went to pick up the girl. Pouf and Youpi were tasked with taking the girl’s albums and stereo, which she explained was necessary in order for the sound to be transmitted. Youpi offered to turn into a stereo system, but Meruem said that would not be necessary--he appreciated the aesthetic of the stereo system and thought it would be a nice addition to the castle once the resources of the girl had been exhausted. Much better than a stereo made out of whatever mystical undulating meat Youpi was made out of.


	2. I Want the One I Can't Have

When they arrived at the castle, Meruem instructed his servants on the placement of the stereo, the music and the girl. The girl was to be kept in a small servants quarters in a tower near the main hall and throne room. The stereo would be set up facing the throne so that he could sit in the sweet spot and hear all that was offered by this “band.” Once the proper arrangements were set, he would sit on his own and study the music provided to him.  
He started out with their first “album.” He was surprised that a band created music like this so early on in their career and wondered how they managed to make it pleasing, unlike the violin music he had become accustomed to. He wondered what kind of violin could create such a haunting sound, and decided that maybe the girl who had been listening to it could provide some sort of explanation. So, he sent Pitou to collect her again.  
Pitou came back and dropped her in front of the king, where she sat cross-legged; hands folded across her lap. Meruem hit the play button on the stereo remote, which made the girl jump, then relax slightly when she recognized the refrain.  
“What is this sound?” Meruem asked again.  
“This is also the Smiths!” the girl responded.  
“Yes, but that strange violin. How does it make that sound?”  
“That isn’t a violin, that is a guitar! Though I guess it is sort of similar.”  
Meruem pondered. Maybe he could procure this instrument of emotional torture. “Pouf!” he called out. “Destroy that instrument you call a ‘violin.’ I command you to find a guitar. It is much more pleasing to me.”  
“But s--!” Pouf yelled. But by the time he had uttered the second syllable, Meruem swiped at him with his tail, bringing him to his knees, pointing his needle tail at Pouf’s neck.  
“You will do as your king commands you.”  
“Yes sir, please forgive me, sir,” Pouf said. He really did not want to get rid of the violin, but could not deny the sweetness of the guitar.  
“Or better yet, who plays this guitar?” Meruem asked the girl.  
“His name is Johnny! I believe he is still alive today.”  
“Then Pouf, go find this man called ‘Johnny.’ Once you return with Johnny and a guitar, you will be relieved of your duties.”  
Pouf knew that this was a death sentence, but as the hand of the king, he had no other choice in the matter.  
“Very well sir, I will leave at once,” he said, flying off through the open castle doors.  
Meruem knew that it may be a long and arduous task finding this Johnny human, but at least it would save him from hearing that damn violin for one more second. It was almost impossible to focus on the task at hand of comprehending the danger of this music when that violin was squealing in the corner.  
He turned back to the girl.  
“You said this man was called Johnny.”  
“That is correct!”  
“So then what is your name?” he asked. He realized it was easier to talk to and about someone if he knew whether to categorize them as a Johnny, Pouf, Pitou or Youpi.  
“Oh! My name is Komugi.”  
“Komugi, hm. I have never encountered a creature called a Komugi. Although I guess I had never encountered a creature called Johnny, either.” He furrowed his brow. Maybe he should have a name as well? No, he was the king. His title was enough.  
“What is the name of this man who is screaming?”  
“Oh! He isn’t screaming, sir, he is singing! And his name is Morrissey.”  
What a strange name for a man screaming so pleasantly.  
“But how do I know if he is screaming or singing? He sounds like he is in distress.”  
“That’s just the lyrics, sir!”  
“Lyrics?”  
“Yes! They are the words he is screaming--or rather--singing. They tell stories.”  
“Stories of mayhem?”  
“No, well, some of them do. Some of them tell you about love and loss. Some tell you about how you shouldn’t plagiarize.”  
All of these terms were very foreign to Meruem. Love? Loss? Plagiarize? Bicycles? Noe of this meant anything to him. And yet he realized that they did not necessarily NEED to mean anything to him. Though he was a ruler, he was still very new to this world. What he did know is that he liked the sound of Morrissey’s screams. Possibly more than those of the humans he had slaughtered. After a couple hundred, their screams all sound the same. You hear mourning of the loved ones, fear, dread, pain and then nothing at all. These screams sounded hopeful; forlorn. Like there may be something more meaningful than sustenance that these humans were fighting for. And at the center of it was this strange alternative girl and her Smiths.


	3. That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore

The inspo for my AU uWu UwU;


End file.
